Since having Skylie I've kept working. Full-time.
I'd planned on quitting once I had her, but when my boss offered to let me work part-time from home and part-time in the office—the deal seemed too good to resist.
Thanks to snow days, sick babies, spending a month in Utah, and using PTO, I've spent even more time with Skylie—and less time in the office. A great friend who I trust completely has been watching Skylie during the hours I'm at the office. And I'm usually able to get my work done while I'm there, so at home I can really be "at home".
Despite the great babysitter, total flexibility with my schedule, full-time benefits, an understanding boss, and minimal time in the office, I'd often feel guilty—like I was a bad mom for leaving Skylie for a few hours a week. In reality, Matt and I could get more student loans and apply for aid from the government so I could stay with her 24/7. Many of my friends do that, and I respect their decision 110%. (I would totally do that too if I couldn't work from home.)
I'd planned on quitting once I had her, but when my boss offered to let me work part-time from home and part-time in the office—the deal seemed too good to resist.
Thanks to snow days, sick babies, spending a month in Utah, and using PTO, I've spent even more time with Skylie—and less time in the office. A great friend who I trust completely has been watching Skylie during the hours I'm at the office. And I'm usually able to get my work done while I'm there, so at home I can really be "at home".
Despite the great babysitter, total flexibility with my schedule, full-time benefits, an understanding boss, and minimal time in the office, I'd often feel guilty—like I was a bad mom for leaving Skylie for a few hours a week. In reality, Matt and I could get more student loans and apply for aid from the government so I could stay with her 24/7. Many of my friends do that, and I respect their decision 110%. (I would totally do that too if I couldn't work from home.)
Then it hit me.
- I don't think me being away from Skylie 16 hours a week negatively impacts her, me, or our family. In fact, it might be kind of good for both of us. Hopefully she'll never have tantrums when we leave her at nursery!
- I believe that family is most important and that my role as a wife and mother is my top priority. I also think that we're to be self-reliant and not depend on others to meet our needs, if possible. Lastly, I think avoiding debt to the extent possible and making smart financial decisions is a life-long pursuit. To sum it up, I think there's balance in everything. I juggle three values I hold, and I think right now I've hit a great balance. I'm in the office from 8:00-4:00 Tuesdays, and for four hours on Wednesday and Thursday mornings. As cliché or cheesy as this may sound, I think sometimes Heavenly Father provides us with great opportunities to live His gospel, and if we don't take advantage of them because they're not in the form we expected, we're totally missing out.
Every situation is unique, I know, and what's right for me may not be right for someone else. I look forward to the day when I can be home 24/7. But for now I've put my mind at ease, knowing that I'm providing for our family and still being a good mom.
10 comments:
I completely agree! I worked after Laney was born for almost 2 years and we avoided a lot of debt by my doing so. I had days where I felt so terrible but I can tell you now that I'm done that Laney doesn't love me any less and she doesn't even remember me working. It was nice to have a break because then I was so happy to be with her after work. It helped to have a break because I appreciated the time we did have together even more. You're an awesome mom so I'm glad you are done feeling guilty!
Dear, dear Erin. I worked all through undergraduate and medical school. I am quite familiar with that guilt you are talking about. Good for you for letting it go.
I don't "go to work" anymore, but I still find plenty of things to feel guilty about. ;)
Amen to what Carly said! I think it's a decision that is between you and Matt and the Lord---you know more than anyone what is best for your family and you are a fabulous mom, so good on you for saying goodbye to the guilt! You have no reason to feel any at all!
I am glad you do not feel guilty about your decision to work anymore. You are doing great with what you have. And lucky, because so many working mothers do not have the support from their boss and co-workers that you do.
Besides, the day will come when you will have to pay back the student loans, and you will be so glad that you do not owe as much!
Erin, your post was such a great one for me to read today. My husband and I have been talking about babies but the main thing that is stopping us is the money and me working. I loved reading about how you balance everything and how you are overcoming the guilt. Thank you.
PS: your little girl is adorable.
Katrina Williams Brooks
I completely agree. And just so you know, I think you are super-mom for working full-time and still raising an awesome little girl!
Erin you are such a great mom! I'm glad that your done being guilty also!
Amen to you, Erin. I say do what you feel is right and ignore anyone who might try to make you feel differently. Don't feel guilty. It's a waste of energy.
I agree with you and all the comments. I had to work until Logan was 3 1/2 and unfortunately it was away from him 40 hrs/week. It was horrible to leave him, but we avoided a lot of debt and we I learned so much from it.
...and you know what, I'm just as close with Logan as I am with the other 2 who always had me around.
You're a wonderful mother. Don't burden yourself with anymore guilt. That just distracts from the spirit... no wonder the adversary tries to make us feel that way all the time!
I know the feeling! I work from home 100% of the time, and its amazing and I'm so grateful for that blessing. BUT that being said its no rose patch. I feel like I don't give 100% to anything in my life. I'm trying to be everything all at the same time, a wife, a mother, a good employee, a good cook, a really good housekeeper. Balancing it all really is the challenge! So glad you figured out how to balance it all! Sort of really jealous....
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